Life seems to be a downward spiral. I won't say exactly what is going on, but "family shredding apart" seems to be explanation enough. I only know one thing: I don't like my parents fighting.
Coincidentally, the beginning of my most recent story starts with Jenna's parents arguing.
I'm really annoyed with God. Really annoyed. Sometimes I just want to turn my back on him, cross my arms, and say, "Well, that's what you did to me." But I'm refraining from that. For the last few days, however, I've had nothing to do with him--no praying, no reading, no thinking. I need distance for a while.
For any of you who pray, I need it.
On a better note:
... Went shopping and bought a pretty pair of gray pajamas, as well as a flowered t-shirt from AE.
... Took a walk in the woods today and talked to a red-tailed hawk the whole time, as he was perched on top of a pine tree and screeching at me. I've known him for about 2 years. Him and I are good friends, despite his irritability at my presence.
... I've actually picked up storywriting again.
... I have sisters and friends who love me.
... I have decided that I am a STRONG person.
Friday, June 26, 2009
6 comments:
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I kind of know how you feel. I've been annoyed with God in the past, and taken my breaks from Him, even though that can be dangerous.
ReplyDeleteright now I'm not so close to God.
I think my main problem is that I get so worked up about God when I'm following him that I turn into this really judgmental, ugly person. I know God doesn't want me to be like that, but I was raised in a judgmental, ugly church, and that's the kind of behavior I associate with following God with all one's heart.. And so now I'm liking the person I am.. I'm nice to people, I don't tell them when they're doing wrong, etc, but it's a trade off.
I have started praying more lately, though.. so I will pray for you if I remember.
Sorry to hear that, Cierra.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the gray pajamas did something to lighten your day. Gray pajamas are just good that way.
And yes, I will pray for you. ;)
Thank you, Drew. I know what you mean, the church I'm going to now borders on the more pragmatic, judgemental side. And I hate judging people, I really do. I try so hard not to. The way I see Christianity, it is all Love--that is the essence of God and Jesus. That's what Paul tells us in his letter to the Romans, and John tells us in 1st John.
ReplyDeleteI know I will come back to talking to God, but right now I feel as though I will have the wrong attitude when I come to him. I've already "yelled" at him quite a bit, and I hate doing so. :(
You have a super-duper day, Drew. Hope your life continues to be happy-maniac good. :D
Thank you so much as well, Scottsie! Yes, the grey pajamas are so wonderful. I think I shall put them on right now. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're annoyed with God?
ReplyDeleteCecie, he hasn't done anything to you!
I know how you feel, though. :)
I wish I had those pajamas!
You've started storywriting again!?
I'M SO HAPPY I COULD JUST CRY!!
*snniiiiiffff*
I'll pray for you too, girl! *hugs*
ReplyDelete